December 5 – Let Go.

I'm going backwards so please be patient with me. Thanks! :-)

The person whom I've let go of this year is someone I should have let go of last year (isn't that always the story?). I was living with a friend of mine for a year. I had fair warning from my bestie of the issues and problems that would arise while living with her. I thought my roommate and I had a lot in common that would make for a great friendship that would last forever. I was wrong. We were both only children to parents who made a decent amount of money and decided to spend it on their only children. Mine being my education and vehicles, hers being...everything she ever wanted EVER.

As time went by she began dating a guy whom she met in school that believed he was God's gift to women (literally and figuratively). It started with little things like him getting in fights with her because she would vent to me. Then eventually went into how he dislikes me because I don't go to church every Sunday like he does. After a while she continued molding into the perfect woman he wanted her to be leaving me in the cold. It turned into the type of relationship that went from telling each other everything to only speaking when we needed to let each other know what the months bills were that needed to get paid. It had been about 3 months since we had actually spoken to each other like friends when she came into my room the week before my 24th birthday to announce that she had found a new roommate to replace me and that I needed to move out. Her reasons were because her father needed more money and her new roommate was a friend who really needed her help and a place to stay (lieing is a strong point of hers as a reason to get out of things she can't face).

Anyways I'm the type of person that holds grudges for a very long time. I only have 2 X friends on my list that I will hold grudges on forever and she is one of them. I will refrain from going into more detail about the many things that added up to us not speaking but it was a very long healing process for me. I was at the point where even hearing her name would throw me into fits of anger. I've never been so upset with someone before in my life but I felt I had every reason so be. All she had to do was talk to me. Three months before her asking me to move out I discussed the possibility of me moving out because I had just been laid off from my job and couldn't afford to live with her...her reaction was crying hysterically and begging me to stay because she needed me (i'm not exaggerating) So you could imagine the betrayal I felt 3 months later when I had JUST been hired for a new job and she told me she was kicking me out.

That is honestly the reason I can't even speak to her today. She has never apologized and never will because she doesn't see what she did to make me upset.

Betrayal is the most hurtful emotional there is.