Dec. 15: 5 MINS

5 minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

The things I would want to remember most about 2010 are as follows:

• the day I got engaged. Dinner, Sweet Jenny's Ice Cream and a stroll through Glenn Falls Park.
• Buying, renovating, and moving into my first house. I bought the house 9/2009 but I didn't officially move in until 1/2010
• My fiance moving in 8/2010
• Asking all of my closest friends to be bridesmaids
• The new friends I have met in 2010
  

Dec. 14: APPRECIATE

Appreciate. What's the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?

I truly mean it when I say I have come to appreciate my mother more than anything this past year. I think back to when we'd fight and not speak and it kills me to think how selfish and stupid I was. Especially now I put it in perspective because of my wedding. I would be lost without her. This is her first and last child's wedding (my brother is gay and my sister ran away and got married and shut my mom out of everything) It kills me everyday to think how inactive my siblings are with my mother. Do they not need her like I do? Do they ever think that she needs them? They're both too self consumed to ask themselves that question though. Instead my brother calls, maybe once a month to talk about himself. He's promised her for the past year that he'd come home to visit, and he hasn't. I'm pretty sure he'll come up with an excuse to not attend my wedding as well (nice, huh?) I guess you can say I make up for both of them. Even though she lives 5 mins away from me I still call her at least every other day. She knows mostly everything going on in my life. We go to the gym together maybe 2-3 nights a week. We have retail therapy together of course. And lunch dates on the weekends every now and then. Not to mention our weekly Sunday family dinners that my fiance and I go to at my parents house. Since my mom is older (almost 70) it kills me to think I need to bend over backwards t appreciate the time I have with her, because I know she may not be around most of my adult life. And I start to cry everytime I think of that.

Dec. 13: ACTION

Action. When it comes to aspirations, its not about ideas. It's about making ideas happen. What's your next step?

I'm pretty sure I'm beating a dead horse if I say my next action is to get a new job.

YES YES YES I know you've all heard me.

So instead I'm going to say I aspire to be something different next year. I'm going to stretch myself and my creativity further. Maybe marketing isn't my only thing. Maybe I could go to cooking classes at night! Or cake decorating classes. Maybe I should go to beauty school. Either way I'm going to step out and try doing something I enjoy doing on my own but take it to the next level professionally!

Dec. 11: 11 Things

11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

1. My job, first and foremost. I have decided that I will search for marketing/comm jobs as well as secretary/admin jobs...whatever i can find just to be happy. Then once the wedding is over I will focus on either going back to school full time or taking time off and finding the job of my dreams.

2. Stress, that's a given for everyone I think. I will keep up with the gym since it's my #1 stress reliever.

3. Drama. NO MORE DRAMA! Block it out, bitch it out. I will do whatever I have to not to deal with petty nonsense...if you call me a bridezilla I do not care, no one is raining on my parade.

4. I could do without these ridic gas prices in 2011. Not sure what I can do to change that though, there's no way I'm getting a hybrid or 4 cylinder vehicle (sorry...im green in other ways!)

5. Unneeded advice. I am never shy to ask for advice! Please do not tell me every detail you had for your own wedding, or every idea you think I should do for mine, UNLESS I ask.

6. Panic Attacks. I need to just calm it down. The world will not come to an end if I am unable to check everything off of my "theknot.com checklist" each month.

7. Envelopes for money at church. I feel guilty enough when I cannot find time to go to mass every Sunday. I do not need to be reminded that the envelopes are used for attendance as well as donations that benefit the church. I'm all about going to church and putting money in the basket but the designated envelopes almost make me rebel more.

8. Procrastination. I should not wait until the last minute to get things done. This is the year to be more organized!

9. Potato Chips. These are blacklisted. I gotta stop eating these for my waistline. Whats the point in my personal training if i just come home and stuff my face with salt and vinegar chips?

10. Pressure to lose unrealistic weight. I need to understand I will probably never weigh 108lbs ever again. As long as I keep working out and eating right I will feel great! I need to adjust my goal weight.

11. Stress when it comes to $$. I focus a lot on money and not having any. I need to be happy I have ANY to begin with and learn how to better budget myself instead!

Dec. 10: WISDOM

Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

The wisest decision I made this year was to say YES when Joe proposed. We have been best friends for over 5 years and I cannot picture spending the rest of my life with anyone else. We've been having fun planning the wedding of our dreams...and the honeymoon too! :-) We're very excited for the next step in our lives. Just don't start pushing us on the baby thing...

All I Want For Christmas...

is a new job.

It's tough out there. I'm sure many of you understand how I'm feeling. I've been applying and interviewing for about a year now. It's a rat race and it's all about who you know and the connections you have.

Despite work my 2010 has been fabulous! New house and renovations, I got engaged, life outside of work could not be better!

I hate complaining but I just need to let out all of the stuff that's been happening to me at my job because each day I get closer and closer to walking out the door and not coming back, and today was the icing on the cake.

Earlier this year our salesman was caught stealing money and business from the company so he was let go. Since then the salesman was not replaced. Business has just been getting slower and slower. My boss is the type where he likes the money that goes in his pocket but hed rather be working on the jobs than getting them, which hes fully admitted to. Anyways his son quit his job here (through a TEXT message to me) soon after the salesman, leaving just me, a designer, and the boss. Since then my boss has been acting weird. One minute hes goofing around and in the best mood ever and the next hes the meaning person I have ever met. I couldn't understand the quick changes but I decided to just focus on my work and ignore it. Well now my boss smells like alcohol, slurs like he's been drinking all day & night, but again I just wanted to ignore it. That's his business not mine (in regards to his work and his life). Well he constantly makes comments to me about how my engagement will end in tears because noone can stay together, my fiance is just using me (mind you I have NEVER spoken to him about my personal life/relationships). Then he goes on about how much he hates Italians and how they're all stuck up assholes who expect the world to bend over backwards for them (I'm Italian). He told me not to buy my house because he doesn't know how long my position will be around for. I think he thinks I'm his daughter. Well today as soon as I walked in to punch in at the time clock he runs up to me to tell me one of his long winded stories about "F*ck so and so"(no joke) and i had my arms crossed under my chest. He was so into his story that he grabbed my arm SO hard that my arms came uncrossed and I lost my balance like I was going to fall. I jerked my arm back out of his grasp and prepared myself for a lash out. He acted like he didn't even recognize what had just happened! So what did I do? Ignored it and stayed away from him the rest of the day making excuses like "he must have been drunk" "he wont remember" "he didnt realize how hard he grabbed onto me" and now I'm just angry because I know that's not right. You shouldn't touch an employee. PERIOD.

But what do I do? Any advice would be very helpful. Has anyone else gone through anything like this professionally?

Dec. 9: PARTY

Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.

Does a Dave Matthews Band concert count? Well it does now! I'm kind of low-key when it comes to parties. Post-college days I'm pretty boring.


I did attend the DMB concert this year. I was beyond excited for months before the concert. It was the first arena tour of his I had ever been too AND it was the first show of the tour. He must love Buffalo! Who doesn't though? This event also ties into my Community Reverb10 post from a couple days ago as this event was completely setup between me and my friend on twitter. We laugh about it because we barely see each other and we don't text or call, we just tweet one another almost daily. We went to college together and were within the same group of friends so we were not strangers on twitter. ANYWAYS back to DMB...the concert was beyond my high expectations. Even though our seats were in the 300 section it felt like the best seat in the house! Unlike the outdoor theme park tours I've been too, I was actually able to hear every song and watch all of the bands movements. The whole arena was filled for the sold out concert. The people were interesting. There was a mix of young, old, parents with kids, hipsters, stoners (obviously bc it's DMB). There were 3 kids in front of us that had to be in their mid-late teens and they were on some sort of drug. They certainly kept us occupied at times. See image below of me being pissed off at the obnoxious drugged out teens...
Despite the obnoxiousness the concert was by far the best DMB and possibly the best concert of everyone I've seen. I sang my heart out to every song!

Dec. 8: Beautifully Different

Beautifully different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different - you'll find they're what make you beautiful.

I consider myself to be honest, no matter what. I will not sugar coat things. If you ask me if that dress makes you look fat and I think it does I will tell you. What? You asked! I am not extremely harsh though, I understand people have feelings. I will look for a dress that makes you NOT look fat. In fact I'm the person that asks you to go to the mall because I need to get something then convinces you to buy a bunch of stuff while I walk out empty handed. It makes me proud that my friends will come to me when they truly need the truth and they value my opinion that much. Whether they come to me about relationships, jobs, or life in general they know I'm always there. I will drop everything to be with them when they need me. Which leads me to my next trait, I always go out of my way to make sure people are pleased with me. Most of the time it has backfired in my face, but not all, so I do cherish the few that have not back-stabbed and walked all over me for having this trait. One example of this is a close friend I used to have in college. I considered her a best friend. Whenever she needed me I'd drop everything to be with her. Her parent's divorce-all it took was a phone call and I was in my car on my way to consoling her. If she wanted to go to the mall I'd pick her up and drive us, car pool to work, brought her along on family vacations. I've never been the type to be needy for others but I love when others need me, until I really do need someone. My last month of college I found out my mom had cancer. The doctors performed a procedure and while my mom was recovering and all drugged up the doctor pulled me aside and told me the results. They asked me if I wanted to tell my mom when she woke up or if I would rather the doctor tell her a week later at her results appointment. I decided it'd be best if the doctors told her, I could not live with being the person to tell my mother she has cancer. Anyways I had this huge weight on my shoulders for a week while I had to pretend I was OK. I called on this "best friend" to see if she'd meet me for coffee because I needed her. "Best Friend" said she was going to a house party for a friend that night and could not cancel, but I was totally invited if I wanted to go! I explained that being at a party with a lot of people drinking was not where I wanted to be. I told her I found out my mom had cancer and she just wouldn't budge. I hope that party was fun! Still to this day she does not understand why I do not talk to her anymore. She tells people that I just stopped talking to her out of nowhere (because shes the victim right?) All I ask is that you're there for me in return.

To all my friends and family who respect me and bend over backwards for me I love you and appreciate everything!


NOTE: my mother had surgery and her cancer was successfully removed. She is so strong. It completely changed her outlook on life. She used to wear a size 18 and has become a gym and health nut and is now healthy and a beautiful size 4! She truly is an inspiration!

Dec. 7- COMMUNITY

I had had a twitter account for a while but did not really participate/understand it until I switched from a blackberry to an iphone. Work was slowing down so I decided to dive into twitter to keep me busy. I searched for people and companies to follow. It's amazing how much more powerful twitter can be instead of facebook. Facebook I use for keeping tabs on my friends, but twitter is like having a million conversations all day long with as many people as you want! The ultimate multi-tasking!

WORK: I am in the marketing/advertising industry and can connect with a lot of other professionals in my field. What a great networking tool! I have "met" (I use quotes because I have not actually met face-to-face with most of these people) dozens of great people who I converse with on a daily basis. I feel like the professional Buffalo community is so strong in the way people help each other. We all realize it's a hard time right now, but people are willing to help whenever possible! I've had a couple job interviews based on Twitter, how cool is that?

FRIENDSHIPS: Not too many of my friends that I speak to on a regular basis are on twitter just yet, but they're getting there. I had told my fiance about twitter this year and he thought it was useless, but he is a forum follower. He was spending all day long checking each and every forum website, what a waste of time! I told him to get on twitter and he can get sent updates as they're posted so he doesn't have to check each site individually AND he can click on only the headlines he WANTS to read. FILTERING is key to saving time!

WEDDING: amazing how helpful strangers have been to giving me tips and advice. So far I've picked my photographer, florist, and honeymoon all based on Twitter suggestions I've received! Not to mention all the BAGILLIONS of wedding websites that exist now I can manage them all in one place.

Anyways, twitter is definitely something that helps me through the day, everyday! Whether it be the cool people who make me laugh with funny posts or helpful tips and advice when I'm stressed to the max.

I will make it my goal in 2011 to meet more people, and participate in clubs/meetings revolving around social media and marketing.

Dec. 3: MOMENT

A moment at which I truly felt alive this year...there were a few. One that is extremely vivid in my mind is the morning I saw a complete 180* double rainbow. I was on my way to work...miserable as usual. I was waiting at a stop light and looked to my left and saw this ridiculously bright mix of colors that seemed to be RIGHT next to me. I took out my phone to take a picture and when I clicked the button I received a text message of the same rainbow my friend had captured on her commute to work as well! As I drove closer and closer to work the rainbow was getting brighter and brighter. Then I noticed there was a second one appearing right next to it! (The picture above was taken on my iphone and does it NO justice.) I was in shock and awe. I turned off my radio to really focus and I could not believe I was seeing this with my own eyes. How many days in a lifetime do you see a rainbow, every color distinctly clear from one end to the other? Then it gets you thinking...how many other people were witnessing the same thing as I? How many people were in a miserable mood and was immediately cheered up? I mean who HATES a rainbow? How many people started singing the Wizard of Oz song in their head? It would have been creepy had it played on the radio.

The funny thing about it was as I got closer and closer to work it seemed like one end of the rainbow was right on the building where I worked, but as soon as I pulled into the parking lot and parked my car all signs of the rainbow disappeared. Amazing how one thing can change your entire mood for the day.

December 5 – Let Go.

I'm going backwards so please be patient with me. Thanks! :-)

The person whom I've let go of this year is someone I should have let go of last year (isn't that always the story?). I was living with a friend of mine for a year. I had fair warning from my bestie of the issues and problems that would arise while living with her. I thought my roommate and I had a lot in common that would make for a great friendship that would last forever. I was wrong. We were both only children to parents who made a decent amount of money and decided to spend it on their only children. Mine being my education and vehicles, hers being...everything she ever wanted EVER.

As time went by she began dating a guy whom she met in school that believed he was God's gift to women (literally and figuratively). It started with little things like him getting in fights with her because she would vent to me. Then eventually went into how he dislikes me because I don't go to church every Sunday like he does. After a while she continued molding into the perfect woman he wanted her to be leaving me in the cold. It turned into the type of relationship that went from telling each other everything to only speaking when we needed to let each other know what the months bills were that needed to get paid. It had been about 3 months since we had actually spoken to each other like friends when she came into my room the week before my 24th birthday to announce that she had found a new roommate to replace me and that I needed to move out. Her reasons were because her father needed more money and her new roommate was a friend who really needed her help and a place to stay (lieing is a strong point of hers as a reason to get out of things she can't face).

Anyways I'm the type of person that holds grudges for a very long time. I only have 2 X friends on my list that I will hold grudges on forever and she is one of them. I will refrain from going into more detail about the many things that added up to us not speaking but it was a very long healing process for me. I was at the point where even hearing her name would throw me into fits of anger. I've never been so upset with someone before in my life but I felt I had every reason so be. All she had to do was talk to me. Three months before her asking me to move out I discussed the possibility of me moving out because I had just been laid off from my job and couldn't afford to live with her...her reaction was crying hysterically and begging me to stay because she needed me (i'm not exaggerating) So you could imagine the betrayal I felt 3 months later when I had JUST been hired for a new job and she told me she was kicking me out.

That is honestly the reason I can't even speak to her today. She has never apologized and never will because she doesn't see what she did to make me upset.

Betrayal is the most hurtful emotional there is.

Dec. 6: MAKE

Well this is quite the topic today. The last thing I made were chocolate chip cookies this past weekend. Does that count? Depends on your definition of "made". I've been trying to learn how to bake this past year. I see myself as a cook rather than a baker, probably because I am Italian and grew up in a household where dinner was homemade every night and on the table promptly when my father came home from work, no excuses. Or maybe because cooking makes me feel rebellious because it's whatever you want it to be. I can add as much spice/flavor/ingredients as I see fit, baking...not so much. With baking I have to be exact and precise and follow instructions exactly. So i decided to take the chocolate chip cookie. Simple enough right? Not for this girl! Allow me to list my failed attempts:

Attempt 1-didn't have baking soda. Didn't think it'd be a problem...it was.

Attempt 2-accidentally added BLACK food coloring instead of VANILLA extract (they were in the exact same shaped bottle! also note: im legally blind without my glasses-not really acceptable excuse since I was wearing my glasses, but whatever!)

Attempt 3-I thought cookies were like cakes in that you know when they're done by pressing a finger and if the dough bounces back you're good! Negative. Resulted in cookies that could chip your teeth, awesome paperweights if you need x-mas gift ideas!

Attempt 4-I began making the batch and totally forgot I didn't have chocolate chips and was too lazy to go to the store so I mixed peanut butter and nutella in the bowl instead. Gross. Don't try that at home.

Attempt 5-ALAS I finally made the perfect batch that even my fiance proclaimed were BETTER THAN HIS MOTHER'S!!! That's right, you read it here! The key was patience, following the instructions on the Nestle Tollhouse Chocolate Chip bag EXACTLY, and taking the cookies out at exactly 11minutes even if they don't look finished!

This was definitely an accomplishment for me. As for what baked good is next, I have NO idea. Suggestions are welcome. I can tell you one thing, bread will never be tried.